Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

 

Dear Nicole,

I've been having some problems with my mom. I'm not in any of the hobbies I want to be in. A while back, I asked if I could be in cheerleading. My dad tried to convince my mom to let me be in it. The answer was "yes"! Then my principal decided not to have a cheerleading squad for a while. Recently my school announced that cheerleading was back on. I got the forms that I needed and asked my mom again. Her answer was "NO"!!! The sad part is all of my friends are going to be in cheerleading. I just want my mom to treat me like a teen that needs adventure.

A:I’m sorry to hear you don’t feel like you’ve been able to really live out your teen life in an adventurous way. Problems with parents can be tough and very tricky, especially when you still reside under their roof. I suggest you start with a serious talk with your mom. Let your dad know what you plan on doing and see if he can help in any way. Set the mood, meaning make sure your mom is in the mood to talk and let her know what she is in for. Make a meal for her or just make sure she is comfortable, and prepare to have a deep discussion. Now, there are some rules when trying to get someone to really hear you when you speak. The first is to avoid anything that may offend them or put them on the defensive. A way to do that is by using I statements not You statements. For example, “I really want to be more involved in school and it really disappoints me when I have to pass on great opportunities” instead of “You never allow me to be involved at school and you’re really making me upset.”

Another thing to remember is that conversation is a two way street. Try your best to avoid talking over each other. Let her finish her points no matter how difficult they are to hear. If she interrupts you, let her speak and then finish your point. Your goal is for her to HEAR you not for you just to get your point across. Lastly, be solution focused and prepared. If you want to participate in extracurricular activities, then you should have a plan on how you are going to do so. If it’s safety that your mom is concerned about, talk to your admin and provide her with a list of staff that supervise the activities. And the fact is, grades are not the only criteria colleges and universities look at when considering applicants. They want to see a well-rounded person and that includes participation in extra activities. Be prepared to have to divide your conversation in to parts. Sometimes parents need a moment to think about everything. If you see your mom is getting agitated or is no longer listening, back off and revisit the conversation another day. Hope this helps.

Nicole

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

One of my friends has been constantly telling me that I've changed in a bad way. I've asked many other people if I have, and they all say NO! This friend has also said that my BFF and I aren't meant to be BFFs, which ticks me off a lot. Now she's saying I have to sacrifice my friendship with 5 people in order to have her accept me. She believes that I am a bad person because of those 5 people I hang out with, which I don't think is right at all. Many people have said that they like me more this year than last. She is the only person telling me bad stuff. What should I do?

A: Sounds like you may be dealing with a frenemy more than a friend. I would go with what most people are saying, especially your close friends and family. Sometimes negative and even jealous people come into our lives. They stunt our growth with the mean things they say and do. Don’t let this happen to you. Now, if she has a point and there are some things you feel you may need to improve on, fine. But sacrificing friends for her to “accept” you is ridiculous. What will she need to maintain your friendship next… your blood? That is not how friendships are formed and that is not what friends do. Be honest and upfront with her about how she is making you feel, and then leave it alone. Not everyone is healthy enough to sit in the front row of your life. Maybe she needs a ‘parking lot’ position. In other words, either she shapes up or ships out! Hope this helps!

Nicole

;)

Weekend Recap - Part 1

Missed out on some BFF posts this week? It's okay (we forgive you). We've taken some time out and created for you lovely people a 2 part weekend recap! Fasten your seat belts because here we go :

On Monday, we were in the New York spirit and decided to make our Music Monday choice Jay-Z & Alicia Key's "Empire State of Mind." If you haven't heard it, you have been living in a cave!! you better do so now as the song is HOT HOT HOT! So HOT that the Yankees - World Champs Baby! - decided to make that their anthem during the world series!

Tuesday was your day to get your life questions answered by our friend from Teen Diaries, Nicole. You all wanted to know how to deal with a bully without getting into an argument or fight, or how to avoid a fight all together and she gave you some pretty good advice -- lay low! Unless they steal your BFF's milk money, then it's time to ... *cracks knuckles* -- HAHA we're just joking! Bullies usually pick on people for attention, so the least attention you give them, the better!

Part 2 of our recap will be on tomorrow! So stay tuned!

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

I want to be more social. That has been my goal for a long time because I've been quiet for years in school. I'm in high school right now, and I feel as thought I'm confident in being beautiful, smart, and successful, but I can't figure out why I'm so quiet. HELP!

A. One thing I had to learn in life is that it’s perfectly okay to be me. For example, I’m pretty quiet too. I don’t go to many parties or clubs. I love to be outside doing things most girls my age don’t like to do like fishing, hiking, swimming, horseback riding, etc. For the longest time, I used to beat myself up for not wanting to rush to the next Jay Z concert but guess what ~ that is who I am. Those are my interests and that is OKAY. I say that to emphasize to you that it’s OKAY to be quiet. It sounds like you know that you are Beautiful, Smart and Successful and that’s all that matters. Some of the most profound and interesting people don’t speak a lot. But when they do speak, its something poetic and amazing. Maybe that’s you. If you are still interested in getting out there a bit more, join a few social clubs at school and start there. That is a good way to speak up a bit more and meet some pretty interesting people. Hope this helps!

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

My stepfather thinks I'm too young to be on Facebook, Myspace, etc. because I'm only 14 about to be 15!!! I'm a 9th grader and I REALLY don't understand why I can't. My mom says it's cool with her and she doesn't mind, but he's stopping me from my social life. I'm extremely popular because of my fashion & personality, and he is totally ruining my LIFE! Why is that Nicole?

A: Sometimes parents, especially fathers, can be a bit overprotective when it comes to the budding social lives of their children. Rightfully so sometimes, after all there are a lot of pedophiles on the internet these days. If you don’t understand his viewpoint, it’s likely that he doesn’t get yours either. I suggest you start there. Take some time to talk to your dad about your interests and be willing to listen to his concerns. See if you can come up with a compromise. Hope this helps!

Nicole

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Q. Dear Nicole,

I'm sad. I just broke up with my boyfriend and now I am in love with his cousin. What should I do? I really like the guy. I need advice!

A: Are you serious? DO NOT DATE YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND’S COUSIN. It will not work out for you at all. It is likely that your ex will not find that too appealing, nor will his family. Even if a rift is caused between your ex and his cousin because of your love tryst, it is likely that you will receive the short end of the stick. After all, blood is thicker than water, so your ex will probably forgive his cousin LONG before he forgives you. Just leave it alone and find someone else. Hope this helps!

Nicole

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

I'm so confused right now, I have 2 guys in my life and they're both good to me ... One of them is my best friend and the other one is a friend. I like them both and they both want to be with me. I don't know what to do ... they both are my type, it's just that one of them lives near me and the other one lives an hour away. What should I do?

A:Go with your heart and whenever in doubt just chill. If you can’t decide between either one, who says you have too? Do you have to be “with” either one? If both are your friends, then why can’t you enjoy both of your friends? Just be sure not to lead anyone one on. Hope this helps.

-- Nicole

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

I have a boyfriend and we've been together for four years. After we finish our last year at school, we are going to be separated. We're in love and we want to be together forever, but his parents (who are Christians) are filling his mind with doubts about me not being "the one", and that we are too young and should not get so serious in a relationship. We are still together at the moment but I'm having doubts if a long distance relationship can work, or if I should just end it and hope we meet in the future. I don't want to lose him. I know there are many guys out there to choose from, but I don't want another boyfriend ... I want him. What should I do?

Signed, 16+18Love

A: You didn’t indicate your spiritual walk but if you are Christian, I suggest you send up a prayer about the situation and see how God directs you. Whatever your path is, seeking spiritual guidance is always a plus. Then let it go. Don’t put too much thought into a relationship. See where fate takes you. If it fizzles out while you’re in different locales then that’s the way it is. Who knows, it just may grow stronger. Focus on why you all got together in the first place (common interests, attraction, etc.) and let the rest just fall into place! Hope this helps!

-- Nicole

Also, don't forget! A brand new episode of BFF will be live tomorrow @ MySpace.com/BFF.

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Q: Dear Nicole,

There is this guy in my French class. I like him and so does this other girl. They're always talking and sitting together but he always talks to the people around me and he asked my best friend (who is a boy) "my name, where I'm from, has he ever dated me or kissed me ..." So, I'm getting mixed emotions cause he's so nice to me (he opens the door and picks stuff up for me) but he is always sitting beside her and talking. I don't know what to do cause I really like him!

A: Do nothing. Two girls competing for the attention of one guy is NOT cute. Plus you’re too good for that. I’m a firm believer that guys do what they want and tend to ‘be where they want to be’. If you catch my drift. I suggest you flirt a bit, subtly of course, let him know you’re interested and then leave it alone. Let him make his move, choice or decision…whatever you want to call it. Hope this helps.

Nicole

And there you have it. BTW, Episode 17 of BFF is live NOW! Check it out: MySpace.com/bff.

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Q. Dear Nicole,

I've had a crush on this boy since we were in the sixth grade. Now we are in the tenth and he finally tried to talk to me. So we were talking for a month and I was thinking everything was all good. But he met my friend at my birthday party. She wanted to be nice and told him, "we should become best friends." Unfortunately, he took it to a whole other level and tried to talk to her. He told her that he didn't like me. My friend told me and can you believe the fool tried to lie about it?!?! Now he's back, telling me he wants and loves me and I really want him back. But then I don't. I really don't know what I should do. PLEASE HELP ME!!

A. Take a moment to really read the email you sent me aloud. I think when you hear yourself saying what he’s done, you’ll realize you’re too important to have someone treat you in such a careless way. He tried to talk to your best friend (of all things), he lied to you and now ~ he’s still lying. Trust is the foundation to any relationship. Now take what you have and RUN far from him. He doesn’t deserve your time. TRUST ME and hope this helps!

Nicole

Ladies, always place yourself on a pedestal. There are MILLIONS of people around the world so why waste your time dwelling over ONE?

BTW, a BRAND NEW episode of BFF is up live @ MySpace.com/bff

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Q.

Dear Nicole,

I feel like my BFF is always mad at me. She has a lot of problems and she’s stopped being my friend before. She doesn’t want me to have a boyfriend or let boys like me because boys don’t like her as much. I hate this. What should I do?

A.

Be up front with her and let her know that she is being a bit overbearing in the relationship. If she is your best friend, you should be able to let her know your true feelings. Does she have an explanation as to WHY you can’t have other people in your life? Let her know that is an unrealistic and unhealthy request, and she’ll have to understand that you are your own person. Now to make her feel comfortable, make sure you always share quality time with your friend. As long as the relationship is being nurtured, she shouldn’t have a problem. If she does, you may have to decide if the relationship is healthy enough to remain a priority in your life. Hope this helps!

- Nicole

We agree, having a BFF is great and all but that doesn't mean your BFF is your only friend or the only person you come in contact with.

BTW BFF Fans, there is a brand new episode up live @ : MySpace.com/BFF

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

The Guy I Like is the BIGGEST Flirt!

Q. Dear Nicole,

There is this guy I really like but he is the biggest flirt ever. He comes up to me and tells me to kiss him on the cheek and we're always sitting together. He always hugs up on me, but I'm not really sure if he really likes me, or if it's just normal to him. Please help me! - Maybe Flirting with Disaster

A. Glad you can see that you may be flirting with disaster. Try to see if you notice his behavior with other girls. Is he just as flirtatious? I imagine he is or you wouldn’t have labeled him “the biggest flirt ever” (that’s a pretty big flirt). Anyway, I would chill and see how he approaches things. If he is really feeling you then he needs to show you something above and beyond what he’s giving other girls. At the end of the day, all of those hugs and kisses on the cheek (you kiss him on the cheek, huh? ~ he needs to be asking you for the honor!) may be his way of just getting to get a ‘free feel’. Just a thought and I hope this helps!

BTW, a new episode of BFF is airing on MySpace.com/BFF right now!!!

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

HOW DO I BREAK UP WITH MY MAN?

Q. Dear Nicole,

I have never wrote to anyone like this so it’s a little weird. My problem is that I recently got a boyfriend and he is a really nice guy and we have been together for a month but now I feel like I don’t like him anymore and I don’t know what to tell him.

A. As hard as it is, you’re going to have to be honest with him. There is nothing worse than holding onto feelings or emotions. In the end, they will come out just not in the way you planned. So, instead of prolonging hurt feelings, you might as well talk to your bf about your feelings. Be honest but still empathetic. Then let him heal. Don’t do the ‘on and off’ thing because that may only give him false hope. Be a big girl (I mean young lady) and let him know the truth. You can do it! Hope this helps!

Nicole

* Don't forget, a new episode of BFF is up LIVE on MySpace.com/BFF. Be sure to check it out.

;)