How to Help a Friend in An Abusive Relationship

According to College Candy, at least 32% of females have experienced an abusive relationship. Often times, people are scared to report their partner or tell their friends. Abusive relationships are difficult to deal with; you want to be there for your friend, but one tiny mistake could jeopardize your friendship and leave your friend in a dangerous situation that could potentially get worse. 

A great article by College Candy offers some helpful advice on how to go about this matter. These are some of the general tips:


Go directly to her first 
Intervene 
Take threats seriously
Stay away from drugs
Don’t be afraid to get professional help
Let her know she is not alone 
Be prepared to lose a friend


Check out the full article here. Remember that nobody don't has to go through this alone.

Friends You Should AVOID

A friend can be one of the most important people in your life. But there are some friends who are more like enemies. These "toxic" friends are unreliable, overly-demanding, and don't give back. Could you be stuck in a toxic friendship? StyleCaster shares 5 frenemies that you should lose:


The Competitive Friend
This type of friend is always finding ways to compete, whether it’s for the attention of a guy, the approval of other friends, or for job-related praise.


The Debbie Downer
This frenemy turns your friendship "into a never-ending therapy session".


The Promise Breaker 
Constantly breaking promises, this type of friend still expects everything from you in return.


The Criticizer
While these criticisms may come in the form of jokes at first, this type of friendship will eventually become draining, as you’ll always be on the defense against her attacks


The Gossip 
This type of friend is constantly breaking your confidentiality.


While it is normal for friendships to change, some don't change for the better. To read the full article and find out how to deal with a toxic friend, go to Yahoo! Shine. Don't let frenemy distract you from awesome friends.

;)

The Dreaded Midterms Season: We've Got Your Answer!

Midterms are coming up so we thought we'd share some of our favorite tips on how to survive tests and essays:

Get Organized!
Have all your textbooks, notes, and anything else you need within reach. You can't study for that U.S. history exam next week if you don't know where your textbook is!

Why This Works: Keeping neat and organized helps you save time and keeps you focused on your tasks.

Setting Goals

List each subject you have to study for and each essay you have to write. Prioritize these tasks from most to least urgent. Then for each task, write out steps - a maximum of 3 steps for each.

Why This Works:  Being able to see each step along the process helps to reduce stress.

Dividing Up Your Time
Assess the amount of time you have, and divide it up into study blocks of about 30 to 50 minutes. Take a break in between to re-energize. Feel free to move to a different room if you get restless - ideally a quiet, neat space.

Why This Works: Setting aside time to study helps you stay on task and retain information better than cramming. It also helps your mind refresh itself when you switch up your study space.

Review, Review, Review!

Be sure to go over any material you learn whenever you get a chance. Even when you're simply on the bus to school or waiting for a friend, bust out your notes and glance through them again. You'd be surprise how even just a few minutes can jog your memory!

Why This Works: We tend to remember better in the long run if we go over the information a few times rather than have one cram session.


And of course, it doesn't hurt to go over the material with a buddy!
Good luck studying, Biffles ;)

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

 

Dear Nicole,

I've been having some problems with my mom. I'm not in any of the hobbies I want to be in. A while back, I asked if I could be in cheerleading. My dad tried to convince my mom to let me be in it. The answer was "yes"! Then my principal decided not to have a cheerleading squad for a while. Recently my school announced that cheerleading was back on. I got the forms that I needed and asked my mom again. Her answer was "NO"!!! The sad part is all of my friends are going to be in cheerleading. I just want my mom to treat me like a teen that needs adventure.

A:I’m sorry to hear you don’t feel like you’ve been able to really live out your teen life in an adventurous way. Problems with parents can be tough and very tricky, especially when you still reside under their roof. I suggest you start with a serious talk with your mom. Let your dad know what you plan on doing and see if he can help in any way. Set the mood, meaning make sure your mom is in the mood to talk and let her know what she is in for. Make a meal for her or just make sure she is comfortable, and prepare to have a deep discussion. Now, there are some rules when trying to get someone to really hear you when you speak. The first is to avoid anything that may offend them or put them on the defensive. A way to do that is by using I statements not You statements. For example, “I really want to be more involved in school and it really disappoints me when I have to pass on great opportunities” instead of “You never allow me to be involved at school and you’re really making me upset.”

Another thing to remember is that conversation is a two way street. Try your best to avoid talking over each other. Let her finish her points no matter how difficult they are to hear. If she interrupts you, let her speak and then finish your point. Your goal is for her to HEAR you not for you just to get your point across. Lastly, be solution focused and prepared. If you want to participate in extracurricular activities, then you should have a plan on how you are going to do so. If it’s safety that your mom is concerned about, talk to your admin and provide her with a list of staff that supervise the activities. And the fact is, grades are not the only criteria colleges and universities look at when considering applicants. They want to see a well-rounded person and that includes participation in extra activities. Be prepared to have to divide your conversation in to parts. Sometimes parents need a moment to think about everything. If you see your mom is getting agitated or is no longer listening, back off and revisit the conversation another day. Hope this helps.

Nicole

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

 

Dear Nicole,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 15 months. My cousin lied and said that he snuck over the weekend my parents were at the beach, and that is NOT true. My parents now forbid me to see him. I didn't do anything wrong and since all of this happened, they treat me terribly. They treat me like I'm invisible and I'm a nobody. I'm 16. What do I do?

A. I would start with talking to my cousin about the lie. See if you can get your cousin to admit to your parents that they lied. Then try to talk to your parents about the situation and what you can do to earn their trust again, especially since the infraction they are concerned about didn’t even happen. Also let your parents know that you’ve been feeling invisible and like a ‘nobody’. If you don’t go to the heart of the problem (your parents) it will not be resolved. Hope this helps!

Nicole

Dear Nicole

Dear Nicole,

I have a problem. I don't know how to choose a profession. Plus I am from a rural area and I don't want to study here after high school. I have one more year in school. Can you give me some advice on what to do next? How do I find out about my interests? HELP!?!

A: Great question. I would suggest you start with your guidance counselor at school. They should be able to point you in the direction you need to go regarding your interests and possible school or training programs. Now your school may not have a faculty member like a counselor who can help you with something like this. If that is the case, then you can find a local community college. Many community colleges actually have career centers. There they can offer you written inventories and other checklists that will help you figure out what path you may want to take. There are also many people who enter college without a declaring a major for at least a year so that they can figure out what they like and are good at. Internships are also a sure bet to help you figure out what industries may interest you and which ones you totally want to avoid! Hope this helps!

Nicole

Weekend Recap

Missed out on any posts this week? Well don't worry, we've got ya covered. Grab a seat and follow along!

Kid Sister was the music artist we felt you should listen to for Music Monday. Her funky beats and hip hop flows is what makes this artist's music ear-worthy! On Tuesday, TeenDiaries' very own Nicole, gave you all the heads up on what to do when you make a Frenemy rather than a friend. A true friend wouldn't make you pick her/him over anyone else. 

Justin Bieber and Usher danced their way in your hearts as they were this week's fave pair of Celebrity BFF's on Celebrity Wednesday. On our weekend guide, we gave you & your bff(s) an awesome holiday party to throw which we titled, "Ugly Christmas Sweater Holiday Party". You + friends + Ugly Sweaters and a camera ... could there be anything better?! On Friday we launched a brand new Twitter contest in which you guys have the chance to win a Mereadesso gift certificate and it ends TODAY @ 6PM EST!!!

Tune in on Monday (tomorrow) for a brand new week of posts!

;)

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

One of my friends has been constantly telling me that I've changed in a bad way. I've asked many other people if I have, and they all say NO! This friend has also said that my BFF and I aren't meant to be BFFs, which ticks me off a lot. Now she's saying I have to sacrifice my friendship with 5 people in order to have her accept me. She believes that I am a bad person because of those 5 people I hang out with, which I don't think is right at all. Many people have said that they like me more this year than last. She is the only person telling me bad stuff. What should I do?

A: Sounds like you may be dealing with a frenemy more than a friend. I would go with what most people are saying, especially your close friends and family. Sometimes negative and even jealous people come into our lives. They stunt our growth with the mean things they say and do. Don’t let this happen to you. Now, if she has a point and there are some things you feel you may need to improve on, fine. But sacrificing friends for her to “accept” you is ridiculous. What will she need to maintain your friendship next… your blood? That is not how friendships are formed and that is not what friends do. Be honest and upfront with her about how she is making you feel, and then leave it alone. Not everyone is healthy enough to sit in the front row of your life. Maybe she needs a ‘parking lot’ position. In other words, either she shapes up or ships out! Hope this helps!

Nicole

;)

Weekend Recap - Part 1

Missed out on some BFF posts this week? It's okay (we forgive you). We've taken some time out and created for you lovely people a 2 part weekend recap! Fasten your seat belts because here we go :

On Monday, we were in the New York spirit and decided to make our Music Monday choice Jay-Z & Alicia Key's "Empire State of Mind." If you haven't heard it, you have been living in a cave!! you better do so now as the song is HOT HOT HOT! So HOT that the Yankees - World Champs Baby! - decided to make that their anthem during the world series!

Tuesday was your day to get your life questions answered by our friend from Teen Diaries, Nicole. You all wanted to know how to deal with a bully without getting into an argument or fight, or how to avoid a fight all together and she gave you some pretty good advice -- lay low! Unless they steal your BFF's milk money, then it's time to ... *cracks knuckles* -- HAHA we're just joking! Bullies usually pick on people for attention, so the least attention you give them, the better!

Part 2 of our recap will be on tomorrow! So stay tuned!

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:



Dear Nicole,

I'm a junior in high school and I've been having problems standing up for myself when personal attacks have been made against me. What's the best way to remain a lady, but still get my point across without arguing?

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

I have a problem! I don't know how to choose a profession. I'm from Latvia, and I don't want to study here after high school. I'm in my last year now. Can you give me some advice on how to find tests for self-evaluation and choosing a career?

A. Great question. I would suggest you start with your guidance counselor at school. They should be able to point you in the direction you need to go regarding your interests and possible school or training programs. Now your school may not have a faculty member like a counselor who can help you with something like this. If that is the case, then you can find a local community college. Many community colleges actually have career centers. There they can offer you written inventories and other checklists that will help you figure out what path you may want to take. There are also many people who enter college without a declaring a major for at least a year so that they can figure out what they like and are good at. Internships are also a sure bet to help you figure out what industries may interest you and which ones you totally want to avoid! Hope this helps!

Nicole

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

I want to be more social. That has been my goal for a long time because I've been quiet for years in school. I'm in high school right now, and I feel as thought I'm confident in being beautiful, smart, and successful, but I can't figure out why I'm so quiet. HELP!

A. One thing I had to learn in life is that it’s perfectly okay to be me. For example, I’m pretty quiet too. I don’t go to many parties or clubs. I love to be outside doing things most girls my age don’t like to do like fishing, hiking, swimming, horseback riding, etc. For the longest time, I used to beat myself up for not wanting to rush to the next Jay Z concert but guess what ~ that is who I am. Those are my interests and that is OKAY. I say that to emphasize to you that it’s OKAY to be quiet. It sounds like you know that you are Beautiful, Smart and Successful and that’s all that matters. Some of the most profound and interesting people don’t speak a lot. But when they do speak, its something poetic and amazing. Maybe that’s you. If you are still interested in getting out there a bit more, join a few social clubs at school and start there. That is a good way to speak up a bit more and meet some pretty interesting people. Hope this helps!

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

My stepfather thinks I'm too young to be on Facebook, Myspace, etc. because I'm only 14 about to be 15!!! I'm a 9th grader and I REALLY don't understand why I can't. My mom says it's cool with her and she doesn't mind, but he's stopping me from my social life. I'm extremely popular because of my fashion & personality, and he is totally ruining my LIFE! Why is that Nicole?

A: Sometimes parents, especially fathers, can be a bit overprotective when it comes to the budding social lives of their children. Rightfully so sometimes, after all there are a lot of pedophiles on the internet these days. If you don’t understand his viewpoint, it’s likely that he doesn’t get yours either. I suggest you start there. Take some time to talk to your dad about your interests and be willing to listen to his concerns. See if you can come up with a compromise. Hope this helps!

Nicole

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Q. Dear Nicole,

I'm sad. I just broke up with my boyfriend and now I am in love with his cousin. What should I do? I really like the guy. I need advice!

A: Are you serious? DO NOT DATE YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND’S COUSIN. It will not work out for you at all. It is likely that your ex will not find that too appealing, nor will his family. Even if a rift is caused between your ex and his cousin because of your love tryst, it is likely that you will receive the short end of the stick. After all, blood is thicker than water, so your ex will probably forgive his cousin LONG before he forgives you. Just leave it alone and find someone else. Hope this helps!

Nicole

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

I'm so confused right now, I have 2 guys in my life and they're both good to me ... One of them is my best friend and the other one is a friend. I like them both and they both want to be with me. I don't know what to do ... they both are my type, it's just that one of them lives near me and the other one lives an hour away. What should I do?

A:Go with your heart and whenever in doubt just chill. If you can’t decide between either one, who says you have too? Do you have to be “with” either one? If both are your friends, then why can’t you enjoy both of your friends? Just be sure not to lead anyone one on. Hope this helps.

-- Nicole

Dear Nicole

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

Dear Nicole,

I have a boyfriend and we've been together for four years. After we finish our last year at school, we are going to be separated. We're in love and we want to be together forever, but his parents (who are Christians) are filling his mind with doubts about me not being "the one", and that we are too young and should not get so serious in a relationship. We are still together at the moment but I'm having doubts if a long distance relationship can work, or if I should just end it and hope we meet in the future. I don't want to lose him. I know there are many guys out there to choose from, but I don't want another boyfriend ... I want him. What should I do?

Signed, 16+18Love

A: You didn’t indicate your spiritual walk but if you are Christian, I suggest you send up a prayer about the situation and see how God directs you. Whatever your path is, seeking spiritual guidance is always a plus. Then let it go. Don’t put too much thought into a relationship. See where fate takes you. If it fizzles out while you’re in different locales then that’s the way it is. Who knows, it just may grow stronger. Focus on why you all got together in the first place (common interests, attraction, etc.) and let the rest just fall into place! Hope this helps!

-- Nicole

Also, don't forget! A brand new episode of BFF will be live tomorrow @ MySpace.com/BFF.

;)

Dear Nicole ...

TeenDiariesOnline.com is a site dedicated to everything for the teenage girl. From music, fashion, and advice, it’s no wonder that we found this site to be a girl’s true sanctuary. Within the site there is an anonymous advice column called Dear Nicole. It’s a place where you can reach out for a bit of advice or a little direction. We all know life has its little (or maybe huge) complications. That is why we here at BFF decided to team up with TD to present you with, “Dear Nicole”:

HOW DO I BREAK UP WITH MY MAN?

Q. Dear Nicole,

I have never wrote to anyone like this so it’s a little weird. My problem is that I recently got a boyfriend and he is a really nice guy and we have been together for a month but now I feel like I don’t like him anymore and I don’t know what to tell him.

A. As hard as it is, you’re going to have to be honest with him. There is nothing worse than holding onto feelings or emotions. In the end, they will come out just not in the way you planned. So, instead of prolonging hurt feelings, you might as well talk to your bf about your feelings. Be honest but still empathetic. Then let him heal. Don’t do the ‘on and off’ thing because that may only give him false hope. Be a big girl (I mean young lady) and let him know the truth. You can do it! Hope this helps!

Nicole

* Don't forget, a new episode of BFF is up LIVE on MySpace.com/BFF. Be sure to check it out.

;)

Your Ex? Or Her Ex?

As we were digging through our e-mails to answer for our advice post, we stumbled upon a site titled Teen Diaries Online. The site offers tidbits and advice for teens on numerous topics. On their website, they have their very own advice column titled “Dear Nicole”. From the situations we came across there was a question that seemed very interesting and might be a situation you or someone you know might have been through. It was such a thought-provoking topic, that we decided to repost it. Hope you guys enjoy! Be sure to comment below and tell us what you think:

DEAR NICOLE: I Think I Want My Ex Back!

Q: Dear Nicole, I like this boy but I’m too scared to tell him. He just broke up with his girlfriend (which is my best friend) and we tried going out once before but it didn’t work out. I don’t know what to do. I’m so confused. I really do like him but I’m also really scared to tell him. So what should I do?

A: I guess I’m stuck at this part… “he just broke up with his girlfriend which is my best friend”? So you and your friends swap boyfriends like that? It just seems like going back to someone who has dated your friend and that you’ve dated unsuccessfully before is just a bad idea. There are tooooo many guys out there, pick someone else! Hope this helps!

Nicole

We totally agree. STAY AWAY FROM ANYONE YOUR BFF HAS DATED! It's unchartered territory and might negatively affect your friendship.

BTW, be sure to check out the brand new episode of BFF on : MySpace.com/bff

;)

Source: Google Image